Paul Lynde

“My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.”

“When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.”

“I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that.”

“I was obsessed with being rich and famous.”

“I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.”

“A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.”

“The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never...”

“Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.”

“My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.”

“I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contributio...”

“I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.”

“I'm Liberace without a piano.”

“Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.”

“Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.”

“If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.”

“An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing.”

“Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.”

“Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!”

“I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe by adding spices, things of my own. I also look for time-saving recipes, dishes that can be prepared ahead and...”

“I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.”