Sam Levenson

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his finger...”

“Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.”

“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”

“I like life. It's something to do. Somewhere on this globe every 10 seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.”

“Insanity is hereditary - you can get it from your children.”

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.”

“Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.”

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.”

“Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.”

“It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.”

“The difference between keeping things clean and keeping kids clean was that things just sat still and waited for the dirt to collect. We kids were carriers. We ran a pickup and delivery serv...”

“The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.”

“It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'”

“If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.”

“I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?”

“Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.”