“The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within onese...”
Work
"The Art of Loving" (1956) is a seminal work by psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm. In this book, Fromm explores the concept of love in a profound and comprehensive manner, arguing that love is not just a passive feeling but an art that requires practice, knowledge, and effort. Through a detailed analysis, Fromm demystifies the idea that love is something that simply happens, proposing that it must be cultivated like any other skill. He divides love into different categories, including brotherly love, motherly love, erotic love, self-love, and love of God, discussing the characteristics and challenges of each. Fromm also addresses the nature of love in modern society, criticizing the commercialization and superficiality of human relationships. He suggests that the true essence of love lies in the ability to give, to commit, and to genuinely care for the well-being of others, rather than seeking personal satisfaction alone. In "The Art of Loving," Fromm combines psychological insights with philosophical and sociological analysis, offering a rich and multifaceted perspective on what it means to love. The book remains a relevant and inspiring read, encouraging readers to reflect on their own relationships and the importance of developing the art of love in their lives.
Quotes
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Erich Fromm
Canonical work source
“The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within onese...”
“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can...”
“The faculty to think objectively is reason; the emotional attitude behind reason is that of humility. To be objective, to use one's reason, is possible only if one has achieved an attitude o...”
“Modern man thinks he loses something—time—when he does not do things quickly. Yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains—except kill it.”
“Love is not the result of adequate sexual satisfaction, but sexual happiness—even the knowledge of the so-called sexual technique—is the result of love. If aside from everyday observation th...”
“To have faith requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointment. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot...”
“Our whole culture is based on the appetite for buying, on the idea of a mutually favorable exchange. Modern man's happiness consists in the thrill of looking at the shop windows, and in buyi...”
“Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not toward one...”