P. G. Wodehouse

“The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

“I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.”

“A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.”

“I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”