“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

“Philanthropist: a rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.”

“Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.”

“Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”

“Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.”

“Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel.”

“Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our h...”

“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”