Fran Lebowitz

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.”

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”

“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

“There is no such thing as inner peace, there is only nervousness and death.”

“Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.”

“Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.”

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

“فكر قبل أن تتكلم، واقرأ قبل أن تفكر”

“If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.”

“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.”

“The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.”

“Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.”

“All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.”

“If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.”

“I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?”

“My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consen...”

“Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

“Andy Warhol made fame more famous.”