“I've made out more this season on a family-friendly show than ever in my actual life.”

“Some people think my father was a spy, because of working for that government agency in Vietnam, but he can't find his car keys, much less keep a national secret.”

“I get a delivery of a diet food during the week, which doesn't mean that I don't eat the occasional Krispy Kreme doughnut.”

“Once again, I've been thwarted by the massive difference between my vision of the successful me and the me I'm currently stuck with.”

“I must work harder to achieve my goal of not seeking approval from those whose approval I'm not even sure is important to me.”

“Sand castles just aren't made to last.”