“I invented the cordless extension cord.”
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Author detail
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Quotes
Showing 141-160 of 209
“I invented the cordless extension cord.”
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“Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.”
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“OK, so what's the speed of dark?”
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“I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.”
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“I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.”
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“When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.”
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“At one point he decided enough was enough.”
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“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.”
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“If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
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“There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.”
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“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”
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“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
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“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.”
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“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”
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“I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.”
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“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'”
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“I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'”
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“If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?”
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“I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.”
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“What a nice night for an evening.”
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