“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
I can see how I could write a bold account of myself as a passionate man who rose from humble beginnings to cut a wide swath in the world, whose crimes along the way might be written off to extravagance and love and art, and could even almost believe some of it myself on certain days after the sun went down if I’d had a snort or two and was in Los Angeles and it was February and I was twenty-four, but I find a truer account in the Herald-Star, where it says: “Mr. Gary Keillor visited at the home of Al and Florence Crandall on Monday and after lunch returned to St. Paul, where he is currently employed in the radio show business… Lunch was fried chicken with gravy and creamed peas”.
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“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”
“And then I stand in front of God's Throne squinting up at His blazing glory and He says, 'You had your opportunities, boy. But did you listen? No. You went on heedlesly reading that garbagey magazine with pictures of naked girls in it. How juvenile! I gave geese more sense than that.' Please, God. I...”
“Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”
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